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Baby Steps and 2 Minute Plays: My Journey to Becoming a Director and a More Established Writer - Part 1

2/16/2020

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Life is too short, so make it the one you want.

One step at a time is all it takes.
          ​So, I’ve been wanting to get into directing- particularly for my own plays and musicals. I mean, what better way to get my work out there and help build my “brand” than by me doing it all myself (or at least initially by myself). But directing and producing shows is overwhelming, and to be honest, I have absolutely zero experience in it.
          So being the research loving person I am, I started looking into classes and workshops to learn how to direct for film and theatre professionally. Not that I can realistically afford to take any classes right now- but a girl can dream, can’t she?
         Anyway, one thing I kept noticing as a common assignment among all of the classes I was interested in was that they required the students to practice by directing a one or two page script. Mostly for time constraints I’m sure. But then it hit me.
           Why don’t I write a super short script, one to two pages in length myself? Something easy to produce. Something that can be completed fairly quickly (because I’m an impatient and overeager girl).
        I’ve gotten into the habit of writing short form plays of 10-20 minutes long in the last several years and am a huge fan of the 10 minute/one act genre. But let’s be real, making my 20 minute show “Retail!: the Musical”, complete with 5 actors and 4 musical numbers that will ALSO have to be produced- doesn’t seem like a great idea for my first production. I mean I absolutely LOVE the script and the songs and CANNOT WAIT for you to get to see it, but I know deep down it will be a bit too much work for me to tackle for my first directorial experiment. Unless you count the audio sample I did for my developing Sci-Fi musical “The Other Me” but I don’t. Not really.
         So, anyway, here I am. Writing some super short scripts of 1-2 pages in length that I plan to be filming and sharing with you soon. I might have to act them out myself for a while, but it will definitely be good practice either way. Baby steps in the right direction is what I always say. I’m setting goals, making plans, and getting closer to the realization of my dreams one day at a time. And I hope you will too. Life is too short, so make it the one you want. One step at a time is all it takes. 
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Hello Me, I've Missed You: the Path to Building the Tiffany Grand Brand. Part 1.

2/7/2020

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You're never too old to set


​another goal or to dream           


​a new dream. - C.S. Lewis
         So, after spending the last few years trying to build the “socially conscious multimedia company” Femmespire Media, I’ve decided to change my focus. Or at least, I’ve decided to STREAMLINE my focus. I’m considering closing shop. I have already cancelled my business website. At least for now. I’ve got too many things I want to do with my life and already have enough on my plate. It’s time to FOCUS on what I REALLY WANT and not what I think other people will think is more credible. Which I admit, I have been guilty of. Big time.
           But lets be real, everything that’s been done for Femmespire Media is ME anyway. All the encouraging little stories, positive books, plays, music and inspirational quote sharing I had been working on in its name has been my vision and MY heart all along. So why should I waste all this time being so split brained trying to build a separate brand? When in reality- I AM THE BRAND.
        Tiffany Grand. Tiffany Grand Media. That is a potentially powerful brand in and of itself. Don’t believe me? Just ask Oprah. I don’t need to be hiding behind the mask of a separate enterprise. No matter how much telling people I’m building a business and an online store has made me feel like less of a crazy person with crazy artsy dreams.
            I am Tiffany Grand: Songwriter, Playwright, Author, soon-to-be Director and Producer of media with positive messages. A woman passionate about writing musical theatre, the eventual movie musical, and books with soundtrack albums. Discussing issues of mental health, self-esteem, facing fear, letting go of regret, and living your truth. I’ve talked a big game behind the mask of Femmespire Media long enough, but it’s time to finally live it for myself.
            The goals and dreams I have may not necessarily be new, as they are things I’ve been dreaming of and working on in some capacity my entire life. But the decision to focus on building my personal brand and vision SOLELY is new and loooong over-due. So C.S. Lewis’s quote will always ring true.
            “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
       And this crazy writer life is mine. Full of its ups and downs and struggles with focus. But I’m gonna do it. It’s my life and I only get one. I can’t waste it trying to be someone else or working on projects that don’t feel authentic to me. When I’m on my death bed, I want to look back and be proud of the legacy I left behind. I want to know I said everything I had in my heart to say to people through my gifts and passion for writing. I want to encourage people, validate people, and stir them up to live their best lives possible through the arts. I want to be vulnerable, honest, and real. Something I admit, I have never really been.
            So here I am. Setting new goals and just trying to be me. I have so many great projects in the works. I can’t wait for you to see them. Thank you for joining me on this journey. And if you aren’t already, please follow me on social media @TiffanyGMedia. Thanks again. 
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Retail! the Musical... An Excerpt from the New Musical Stageplay

11/9/2019

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     I know, I know, I've been behind on the posting lately. I've been busy writing new songs and scripts for musical theatre (the thing I love the most) and stressing about trying to find a second/new job. Which I admit, has had me struggling with additional anxiety and depression. I was in a rut. But things are turning around! 
  After what's probably nearly a decade worth of working in retail/customer service jobs- I'm getting something positive out of it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I will always love my retail family (especially you, my Nashville Walgreens people) but it was NOT what I thought I was going to do with my life. Now I only work in customer service part-time, with some side-hustles, as I pursue this crazy writer-entrepreneur life. But it's been extremely therapeutic to write about my experience in a fun musical way. And when the complete musical play is officially staged I hope it will speak to other people as well. 
      I am determined to get positive things from my disappointments and perceived mistakes in life, and this show is just another bi-product of that. 
      Check out the demo song from my new project "Retail! the musical" above. This is an excerpt from the longer work. It's a show for 5 characters, all composed on the UKULELE. I hope you enjoy. 
       
        
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"Making Up For Lost Time" the New Song Demo/Lyric Video by Tiffany Grand

9/8/2019

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"It's never too late to be who you might

​have been."  - George Eliot
          Well, I’m about to publish a book aptly titled “Better Late Than Never” and finishing writing a stage play/movie musical called “The Other Me” which basically all deals with overcoming regrets and disappointments in life and thus, making up for lost time in the process. So, it seemed only fitting to finally demo my original song by the same name.
          I wrote the song “Making Up for Lost Time” about four years ago, after what felt like a decade of putting my life on hold out of fear and insecurity. All things I will elaborate on further in my book, but not here. Sorry.
            It’s a folky-country-singer-songwriter-story song- ballad, with what I believe to be an empowering message. Well, at least I felt very empowered when I wrote it all those years ago and still feel stirred up when I hear it now. I’m a firm believer that it’s never too late to create the life you want and just plain “make up for lost time”- in whatever way that means for you.                           It’s YOUR life and you only get one. So, try to make the best of it. I’m still learning this daily, but I feel like finally sharing my work (like this new recording) is a tangible step in the right direction.                                                   Author George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” And I believe that with my whole heart.
          I hope you enjoy my song and that the messages I share will encourage and inspire you to live your best life like it does me. Thanks for listening.
        For more great content, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram as well as my business page Femmespire Media. 

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The Other Me: An Audio Play Excerpt from the Developing Sci-Fi Musical by Tiffany Grand

8/30/2019

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“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do

​what you can.” - Arthur Ashe
       Woo! So, I’ve been working on a full length, Sci-Fi, pop/rock musical titled “The Other Me”. It isn’t done yet, but I’m eager to share some of my work in progress.
         So, I made a little video, an audio-play/lyric video of the opening musical scene. The entire thing is written, produced, and performed by me. Although, I admit, I am NOT a singer or an actress, nor do I have ANY aspirations to be one. I am 200% a writer: a scriptwriter, songwriter and author with maybe some director/producer fantasies.
        But I also think it’s important to put some work out into the world. I’m always putting off sharing things until it’s “perfect” or I feel “ready”. But let’s be real, things will never be perfect and I probably won’t EVER feel ready. So, time to stop procrastinating and let people in on the process.
          I think of this audioplay/lyric vid as a DEMO/SAMPLE of the musical in progress. Something to help keep me accountable and hopefully help garner some interest from other, much more talented singers/actresses/film crew.
        This particular sample is only 5 minutes long. I also have a 10 minute One-Woman Musical Play version that I would like to have performed live on stage. Ya know, kind of like an appetizer for the full-length version.
       If you are interested in getting involved in any capacity don’t hesitate to hit me up! Email me at TiffanyGrandMedia@gmail.com. But until everything is ready, enjoy this little 5 minute demo video.
           Arthur Ashe said it well: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” So that’s what I’m trying to do. That’s what I AM doing. This video is only the tip of the iceberg. There are still so many awesome projects I’m working on that are near completion. I can’t wait to share them with you in the future. Thanks for your support!
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Diary of A Broken Girl: Or One of the Many Reasons Why I'm Determined to Help Other People Through Writing and Community Service

8/28/2019

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Picture
          ​So, I’ve been particularly down lately. This past week has been rough emotionally. Wounds from the pasts, childhood stuff that I thought I had moved on from have been creeping their ugly faces back up to the surface and knocking the wind out of me. I’ve had gut wrenching sob fests at least once a day, every day this week. And it has not been fun.
          I am broken. I suffer a lot of deep-rooted rejection issues from my family. Words and experiences that still haunt me to this day, that I don’t know how to break away from. I truly thought I was getting better but the door came flying open again. Although I suppose, if I’m honest with myself it was probably never really closed to begin with. I just stuck a metaphorical poster or book shelf in front of it for a while in my mind.
       Emotional healing is a process. A long process. And it hurts. A LOT.
          I, by no means, have it together and it sucks to admit it. But what I have gotten out of it is a deep, intense passion to encourage and share love with others. Whether that be through books, plays with positive message, the new empowering shirt designs I’ll be releasing shortly, or just through all the little inspirational quote images and posts I share on the Femmespire Media social media pages.
          I am DETERMINED to help people through my own pain. I am determined to be that encouraging, supportive, loving, empathetic voice I never really felt like I got. I’m determined to help other people who struggle with insecurity, depression, feelings of worthlessness and rejection, who feel invisible and looked over, and just plain need a reminder of their worth and value. I have struggled with all of that immensely over the years and I know I’m not alone. Some people are just more aware of it than others. But it’s OK.
         I want to remind you that if you struggle as well that you are no less lovable, valuable or worthy because of your wounds and occasional weakness. You are no less a survivor because you break down on occasion. Just don’t STAY DOWN. Don’t let your brokenness defeat you. CHOOSE to take the bad things in your life-whatever they are- and use them to help other people. Just like the above image quote says:
 
“If you feel discouraged..
Encourage others.
If you struggle with low self-esteem
and feelings of worthlessness..
​Compliment someone else.
If you feel unloved and invisible.. 
Give someone else who’s having a bad day
a hug or a needed listening ear.
Share and be the love
you feel you didn’t get
when you needed it the most.
It’s not selfish.
It’s called being determined
to help someone else through your own pain
and not letting the past win.
Break the cycle.”
 
          *I’ll be donating copies of the Femmespire Magazine and a portion of all sales of the upcoming merch to organizations that help hurting, broken people. Follow me on social media and my websites to stay up to date and to find out how you can help.

#sharethelove #helpthehurting #encourageothers #emotionalhealing #bethedifference. 
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Focus on Your Strengths and Other Basic Life Things I'm Still Learning. Part 1. Sort Of.

8/20/2019

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​      “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.” This quote came to me in a dream I had like 15 years ago. I didn’t really understand it back then and have made a lot of mistakes since. But it’s probably become more relevant to me now than ever.   ​
 
          So, I’m publishing a magazine for my multimedia company Femmespire Media (if you’re not already following us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram @FemmespireMedia you are missing out!). Anyway, this first issue will be discussing issues related to overcoming emotional/verbal/physical abuse, mental illness, homelessness, emotional healing, self-love, and becoming the best version of yourself. I’ll also be donating copies of issues to women’s shelters, drug rehab facilities, and possibly women’s prisons- all places where I believe women struggle with and need encouragement in these areas the most.
          Anyway, today I was home working on some songs that will be featured in the mag. Song lyrics with relevance to the themes of the upcoming issue. Tweaking the existing lyrics and trying to come up with appropriate backing music to accompany it. But after getting frustrated one too many times, I’ve had to admit a hard truth to myself.
​          I’m not much of an instrumentalist. I’m not a composer. I might have received a Bachelor’s degree in Music from the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston MA, studied music composition & arranging, and learned to play a half dozen instruments, but I am, alas, not as gifted and skilled at composing, playing or producing music as I would like (or I'm just super rusty!). I’ve had to admit to myself that I am most skilled and passionate about writing lyrics, melody and other literary prose. Which is a blow to my ego I will confess.
          But after what is now decades of feeling bad about myself, feeling that I am not good enough the way I am, and believing the lies that I must change myself to fit someone else’s image of what it means to be successful, talented, and beautiful- I call BULL SHIT!
​          If no one else has ever told you then I am telling you now: you do you! You are fine the way you are. You are talented, lovable, beautiful, and capable of greatness. If you have a dream inside your heart you need to just GO FOR IT! You might need to find other people with complementary skills to help you bring whatever your dreams are to fruition. But you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. You were made the way you are on PURPOSE. It just might, like me, take you 15 years to figure it out and finally do it. 
          But also like me, you might have to learn to lay your ego down to get anything worth while done in life.
          Like, I have to (sometimes begrudgingly) admit that I lack certain skills and strengths, like composing instrumental parts to songs. But I have other great and meaningful strengths. And I need to FOCUS on those strengths instead of wasting time trying to do the things other people were gifted to contribute. It takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders accepting that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING all the time.
          I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a control freak and WANT to do everything all the time, but I’m finally starting to learn that I don’t HAVE TO. There are so many other amazing, wonderful people in the world that are gifted in what I lack. And I am determined to find them.
          AD PLUG ALERT: if you are or know anyone who is into arranging/producing original music to songs or singing/acting/producing for film/theatre then send them my way! I have so many projects in the works right now. Some of which I will be stubbornly producing on my own. But let’s be real, they’ll all be much better with the help and support of other talented, passionate individuals. Message me at TiffanyGrandMedia@gmail.com for more info and to get involved!
          And to reiterate the subconscious wisdom of my younger self: “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.”
          Life's too short to waste it trying to be someone else. You do you. Find your tribe. You got this.  


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Learning to not care what people think & Finally Create the life you want: an Excerpt from the New Book by Tiffany Grand

4/19/2019

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“Always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals.”

  • - Michelle Obama
 
“The fear of what other people think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and life. You will never own the future if you care what other people think.”

  • - Cindy Gallop
       The first mistake I ever remember making was when I was in third grade. I played on the softball team and took dance classes twice a week. I loved doing both. My parents on the other hand, the people who had to drop me off and pick me up from dance class and then bring me to softball practice right afterward, did not.
        So, one day after dance class, my mother, red faced and tired from dragging my 3 year old sister and at the time newborn brother all over town for me- made me choose. She told me that it was too much work driving me all over so I had to pick ONE thing to focus on. Which one did I like more- dance or softball?
         Deep down I knew the answer: I loved dancing. Even though I was probably the chunkiest kid in the class, that was one place I wasn’t insecure about myself. I just liked anything to do with music and self-expression. It made me feel alive.
But at 8 years old, I thought sports were cooler. I never even enjoyed playing softball beyond the first year, but I always thought boys were so much cooler than girls and it was the closest I could come to feeling like one of the guys on a nearly daily basis.
        But now I can admit, 25 years later, the boy I had a crush on at the time, well his baseball team always played right after us and that was the only time I had the nerve to talk to him. So of course.. I picked softball.
       It was a total head decision and not remotely what my heart was saying at all. There’s a theme there that would carry with me throughout most of my life. But I wouldn’t realize it until I officially started writing this book!
Now, in my thirties, I’m still struggling with regret, frustration and intense self-loathing more often than I’d like to admit. Constantly looking back and beating myself up for my choices as a kid and all my perceived “missed opportunities” and self-imposed mediocrity.
      The faulty mentality and secret reasons for making that seemingly insignificant decision as a child became a reoccurring theme in my life. A cycle if you will. All my other perceived poor life choices I would make throughout my life would stem from the same root causes. Which I will elaborate on later.
         Anyway, that was the first regret I ever made. At least one that still haunted me until adulthood, and it seemed to just be a downward spiral from there. One I wouldn’t realize until I was an adult and finally looked back and saw the common link between all my regrets in my life and where they came from: using my head. Trying to be someone I’m not. Compromising on myself and what I really want and love for someone else. Caring more about what other people thought of me, or how I appeared to others rather than living my truth and pursuing it wholeheartedly. Fear. Fear of rejection. The fear of failure.
        All that avoidance, only to end up failing in my own mind and rejecting myself in the process.
       Learning to forgive myself was probably THE hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I still struggle with it today. Learning to reprogram my mental computer. Finding the positives in my mistakes. All things I will be writing about and sharing with you as this book goes on or through posts on my websites.
         My journey to finally Create the Life I Want has been a rocky one, but I’m going to share it with you here and pray that it will encourage you. Either by inspiring you NOT to make the same mistakes as me or by empowering you to be proactive and make your life what YOU want: starting NOW.
         Because now, 25 years later, I am finally learning my lesson and applying what I learned. Writing this book is another step in that right direction- which I will elaborate on later.
         Michelle Obama and Cindy Gallop had it spot on, and I only wish I could have seen that sooner. But I’ll get there and so will you. It’s never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.
       “Always stay true to yourself and never let what anyone else says distract you from your goals.” And don’t forget: “The fear of what other people think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and life. You will never own the future if you care what other people think.”
         Don’t forget it!
        These inspiring quotes from Michelle and Cindy are great reminders to help you live your best life possible and get you one step closer to creating the life you want.
Stay tuned for more excerpts from the new book “Create the Life You Want” as it develops. 
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Movie Soundtracks & CBD OIL: A writer's Fight Against A.D.H.D & the battle to get SH*t done! (#youAreNotalone)

4/5/2019

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          Welp, another two days off from my day job…. wasted. Today, my ADHD was acting up so bad. I couldn’t think of anything to write, or concentrate on any older projects I could have been editing for publication. I did, however, manage to clean the house. Including vacuuming. And for a slobby girl like me, I will pat myself on the back. It won’t last long, I’m sure. But at least I did SOMETHING productive today.
           But not the things I wanted to get done.
           I have so many projects that I started working on, with self-imposed deadlines, but this week I can’t seem to get to them.
        From the new Femmespire Magazine I’m trying to publish in the next several months; to the books, music, & shirts with inspirational messages on them I want to sell on the web-store I still have to design. Not to forget the encouraging blog posts I like to write for my multiple websites, social media posts and content marketing.
           Building a brand and a product line is a lot of work.
       It’s frustrating. I’ll be so inspired and motivated all week long during times I CAN’T work on my creative and entrepreneurial pursuits, such as when I have to leave to go to work at my day job, when I’m eating dinner with the boyfriend, when I have to go to bed, or 3 o’clock in the morning when I SHOULD be sleeping but can’t because I can’t shut my damn brain off.
          But, yet, when I’m off from work, don’t have to go anywhere or even have to put on pants, and finally have the house all to myself- I can’t write. I can’t concentrate. Nothing stirs me up at all. Or everything distracts me.
         The ideas I wrote down in my phone before work so I wouldn’t forget them when I finally had time to sit down and write them- no longer inspire me. The songs for my book’s soundtrack album I was so excited to finish writing and record for the world to hear- no longer are fun to play around with. The three books I’m almost finished with and ready to officially publish and sell on Amazon- no longer speak to me.
          I’m stuck. In a mental rut. I can’t think of anything…or I think of EVERYTHING. All. At. Once.
           It sucks.
           Having ADHD sucks.
           It ruins my relationships, my job, my plans, my life.
         I’m never in the moment. I’m always a million places at once and nowhere at all. Half listening to everyone. Half caring about anything. Or hyper-focused on a project I desperately care about at the time and resentful of everyone and everything that gets in the way of it.
            I’m a real joy. Don’t you want to be my friend?
           By some miracle, I somehow shut my brain off long enough to focus and write this blog post. It was NOT by any means what I wanted to write about this week. But the ADHD is acting up so bad today, I didn’t know what else to do, and am secretly hoping I can get a least one good thing out of it or use it to stir me up again and kick me out of my massive brain fog.
           I’m wondering if I should set a timer on my phone? Then just pick a task on my list I made earlier in the week when I was inspired, and just force myself to work on it whether I feel like it or not. Like editing my books, or practicing Adobe Indesign to get the magazine setup? It worked for getting me to clean today. I put on some music (the soundtrack for the movie musical Anna and the Apocalypse is my new obsession) and set the timer on my phone, and told myself I could only clean dishes until the timer went off and then had to move onto something else. I ended up cleaning the entire place. Not spotless, but I did vacuum at least ;-)
          There’s a theory about that. I can’t remember what it’s called at the moment and Google isn’t being very helpful today, but it’s about being more productive through time management. Breaking tasks up into chunks, then taking small breaks in between. I’ve always been great at time management at my various jobs over the years, but at home, by myself- forget it.
           I’ve gotten into vaping CBD oil, which seems to help my ADHD issues (You can check out the blog post I wrote about it for Hempspired.net HERE). I ran out of the brand that helped me the best though and am kind of kicking myself for not ordering more now. But I don’t want to be dependent on that stuff either- it can be expensive! Although, I guess, if it really does help me focus and get the maximum work done then it’s worth the expense.
          But for now, I think I need to practice this whole time-management, setting a stop-watch for limited chunks of time thing. If it can help me focus long enough to clean the house and do the dishes (something I hate) then maybe it will actually work to help me focus on writing and finishing all the tasks I need to do to build my Femmespire Media business (the things I care about the most).
             And if not, there’s always CBD oil and listening to movie soundtracks. 

** P.S.** My mission in life is to #encourage people. And this post, no matter how gratuitous it may seem, is to do the same. If you struggle with ADHD, I want to encourage you that you are NOT alone. I am always amazed by how many posts show up when I search for hashtags on Instagram and Twitter that are related to ADHD, focus, and the related. It may suck, and steal some time away from your goals and productivity but I want to remind you that if you struggle as well, you are still FULLY capable of accomplishing your goals and dreams. It might take some extra energy, planning and determination than of those who don't struggle with the same issues, but you can get there. You are not alone. You are NOT doomed for a second rate life of mediocrity. You got this. I believe in you! I hope you will support me on my journey as well. Thank you. Happy reading!
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It's never too late to begin again or Learning to Let go of regret: An Encouraging Reminder

3/8/2019

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Sometimes the very things that look like the biggest mistakes and disappointments can be the exact things that will reposition you for the life you've always been destined to have.
          In the summer of 2017 I started working at a printing company for $11 an hour. I had just turned 33 and had a bachelors degree. Needless to say I felt like a complete failure at life filled with regret and anger at my poor life choices. I was constantly obsessing about the past and what I should have done differently, or worrying about the future and trying to plan how to turn my life around and get myself where I felt I was “supposed” to be at this time in my life.
          I’d wake up with panic attacks- literal chest pains and shortness of breath- that is if the stress and obsessive thoughts didn’t keep me up all night instead. I’d go on my break at work and cry silently to myself in the corner or in my bed when I went home. Being lost, discouraged, and uncontrollably angry and frustrated at myself for my current situation. I felt trapped. I barely made enough money to cover my living expenses, let alone enough to allow me to move forward with my business or move closer to the city where I thought my dreams as a writer could be solidified.
        I was trapped, and every day was more stress and headaches than it was worth. I had only been working at this job for a couple weeks before I was already on a regular daily search for a new one online. Something in marketing or multimedia to help me with my own aspiring business idea.
       Then one day while I was helping to print pages for a college professors text book and watching my coworkers frantically try to bind them all in time for the end of day pickup- I had an epiphany.
          I wanted to work in publishing.
        I’ve always wanted to work in publishing. Music publishing, book publishing, and before it went the way of the dinosaur, even magazine publishing.
          All the feelings came flooding back.
         I remembered how when I was in 8th grade and had a project in English class to design a magazine- was one of my favorite school assignments ever. I experienced the most pride I’ve ever had in school.
     Or how I desperately wanted to transfer to Emerson College in Boston to study Writing and Publishing and then chickened out. Only to end up nearly 15 years later torturing myself with the fear I made the wrong choice and missed my chance forever.
       And then another revelation came upon me:
     This job that looked like a mistake, a settle, a plan B of mediocrity, was really transitioning me back into the person I was always meant to be.
     I no longer had to wish I could be working in publishing or beat myself up for missing my opportunity. I WAS working in a side of publishing already. Granted it was the production and design side, and the books and publications we did were not quite what I was going for. But it was still a related field none the less. A lot of the publishing industry jobs I found based in New York City preferred applicants with print and or design experience. I was already gaining a bit of both. I was by no means a pro yet, but I finally could see how the skills I was gaining at this little company that paid me $11 an hour could be positioned on my resume for a future career in marketing and publishing that I was interested in.
        I also was seeing how I could use it to help me revamp my own business model. Femmespire Media would no long be positioned as a multimedia production and promotions company, but as a multimedia publishing company. Something I was aspiring to already I just hadn’t made the connection to the work yet.
          With a new perspective, vision, and passion, Femmespire Media was evolving. And I realized I didn’t have to regret anymore.
     The very thing that felt like a consolation prize, a plan D, a frustrating disappointment, was one of the very things that was preparing and pushing me toward my destiny all along. Within a few months of that epiphany I would have begun writing my book "Create the Life You Want" and completed drafts to a couple more.
         My perceived mistakes brought me back full circle to the person I always wanted to be, making it easier to pursue the dreams I had in my heart all along.
          And Joyce Meyer’s words echoed through me. They echo through me right now, like a comforting reminder from God “It’s never too late to begin again.” And begin again I shall.
         Now, it's nearly two years later. I'm still working on the book "Create the Life You Want" and about to publish another ("Better Late Than Never") but this week I'm back to obsessing and struggling with my regrets of the past again. I can't shake the feelings of how I wish I could do my entire life over. How I wish I took French in High School or went to college for Publishing, and any number of other regrets I battle with on a daily basis. But it's all just wasted negative energy. Stealing the time I could be spending writing these very books and scripts I have in my heart to share. 
          I hadn't read this essay since I first wrote it all that time ago, but rediscovering it has encouraged me. And I hope the lessons I'm learning will encourage you too. 
     Sometimes the very things that look like the biggest mistakes and disappointments can be the exact things that will reposition you for the life you've always been destined to have. You don't have to regret every past perceived "poor" decision as a failure. If you're created to do something then God and the universe will bring you back full circle again until you finally do it. You just have to have faith. 
           But if some inspirational books from authors like Joyce Meyer (and hopefully me someday) encourage you to get back at it sooner, then that's cool too. Create the life you want. And don't forget: It's never too late to #BeginAgain. It's #BetterLateThanNever. 
       
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    Author

    Tiffany Grand is an author, songwriter, playwright and mental health advocate. She's a graduate of Berklee College of Music in Boston MA and has a heart for helping people through the arts, media, and community service. Follow her on Twitter & Instagram @TiffanyGMedia

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