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Focus on Your Strengths and Other Basic Life Things I'm Still Learning. Part 1. Sort Of.

8/20/2019

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​      “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.” This quote came to me in a dream I had like 15 years ago. I didn’t really understand it back then and have made a lot of mistakes since. But it’s probably become more relevant to me now than ever.   ​
 
          So, I’m publishing a magazine for my multimedia company Femmespire Media (if you’re not already following us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram @FemmespireMedia you are missing out!). Anyway, this first issue will be discussing issues related to overcoming emotional/verbal/physical abuse, mental illness, homelessness, emotional healing, self-love, and becoming the best version of yourself. I’ll also be donating copies of issues to women’s shelters, drug rehab facilities, and possibly women’s prisons- all places where I believe women struggle with and need encouragement in these areas the most.
          Anyway, today I was home working on some songs that will be featured in the mag. Song lyrics with relevance to the themes of the upcoming issue. Tweaking the existing lyrics and trying to come up with appropriate backing music to accompany it. But after getting frustrated one too many times, I’ve had to admit a hard truth to myself.
​          I’m not much of an instrumentalist. I’m not a composer. I might have received a Bachelor’s degree in Music from the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston MA, studied music composition & arranging, and learned to play a half dozen instruments, but I am, alas, not as gifted and skilled at composing, playing or producing music as I would like (or I'm just super rusty!). I’ve had to admit to myself that I am most skilled and passionate about writing lyrics, melody and other literary prose. Which is a blow to my ego I will confess.
          But after what is now decades of feeling bad about myself, feeling that I am not good enough the way I am, and believing the lies that I must change myself to fit someone else’s image of what it means to be successful, talented, and beautiful- I call BULL SHIT!
​          If no one else has ever told you then I am telling you now: you do you! You are fine the way you are. You are talented, lovable, beautiful, and capable of greatness. If you have a dream inside your heart you need to just GO FOR IT! You might need to find other people with complementary skills to help you bring whatever your dreams are to fruition. But you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. You were made the way you are on PURPOSE. It just might, like me, take you 15 years to figure it out and finally do it. 
          But also like me, you might have to learn to lay your ego down to get anything worth while done in life.
          Like, I have to (sometimes begrudgingly) admit that I lack certain skills and strengths, like composing instrumental parts to songs. But I have other great and meaningful strengths. And I need to FOCUS on those strengths instead of wasting time trying to do the things other people were gifted to contribute. It takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders accepting that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING all the time.
          I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a control freak and WANT to do everything all the time, but I’m finally starting to learn that I don’t HAVE TO. There are so many other amazing, wonderful people in the world that are gifted in what I lack. And I am determined to find them.
          AD PLUG ALERT: if you are or know anyone who is into arranging/producing original music to songs or singing/acting/producing for film/theatre then send them my way! I have so many projects in the works right now. Some of which I will be stubbornly producing on my own. But let’s be real, they’ll all be much better with the help and support of other talented, passionate individuals. Message me at TiffanyGrandMedia@gmail.com for more info and to get involved!
          And to reiterate the subconscious wisdom of my younger self: “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.”
          Life's too short to waste it trying to be someone else. You do you. Find your tribe. You got this.  


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Learning to not care what people think & Finally Create the life you want: an Excerpt from the New Book by Tiffany Grand

4/19/2019

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“Always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals.”

  • - Michelle Obama
 
“The fear of what other people think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and life. You will never own the future if you care what other people think.”

  • - Cindy Gallop
       The first mistake I ever remember making was when I was in third grade. I played on the softball team and took dance classes twice a week. I loved doing both. My parents on the other hand, the people who had to drop me off and pick me up from dance class and then bring me to softball practice right afterward, did not.
        So, one day after dance class, my mother, red faced and tired from dragging my 3 year old sister and at the time newborn brother all over town for me- made me choose. She told me that it was too much work driving me all over so I had to pick ONE thing to focus on. Which one did I like more- dance or softball?
         Deep down I knew the answer: I loved dancing. Even though I was probably the chunkiest kid in the class, that was one place I wasn’t insecure about myself. I just liked anything to do with music and self-expression. It made me feel alive.
But at 8 years old, I thought sports were cooler. I never even enjoyed playing softball beyond the first year, but I always thought boys were so much cooler than girls and it was the closest I could come to feeling like one of the guys on a nearly daily basis.
        But now I can admit, 25 years later, the boy I had a crush on at the time, well his baseball team always played right after us and that was the only time I had the nerve to talk to him. So of course.. I picked softball.
       It was a total head decision and not remotely what my heart was saying at all. There’s a theme there that would carry with me throughout most of my life. But I wouldn’t realize it until I officially started writing this book!
Now, in my thirties, I’m still struggling with regret, frustration and intense self-loathing more often than I’d like to admit. Constantly looking back and beating myself up for my choices as a kid and all my perceived “missed opportunities” and self-imposed mediocrity.
      The faulty mentality and secret reasons for making that seemingly insignificant decision as a child became a reoccurring theme in my life. A cycle if you will. All my other perceived poor life choices I would make throughout my life would stem from the same root causes. Which I will elaborate on later.
         Anyway, that was the first regret I ever made. At least one that still haunted me until adulthood, and it seemed to just be a downward spiral from there. One I wouldn’t realize until I was an adult and finally looked back and saw the common link between all my regrets in my life and where they came from: using my head. Trying to be someone I’m not. Compromising on myself and what I really want and love for someone else. Caring more about what other people thought of me, or how I appeared to others rather than living my truth and pursuing it wholeheartedly. Fear. Fear of rejection. The fear of failure.
        All that avoidance, only to end up failing in my own mind and rejecting myself in the process.
       Learning to forgive myself was probably THE hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I still struggle with it today. Learning to reprogram my mental computer. Finding the positives in my mistakes. All things I will be writing about and sharing with you as this book goes on or through posts on my websites.
         My journey to finally Create the Life I Want has been a rocky one, but I’m going to share it with you here and pray that it will encourage you. Either by inspiring you NOT to make the same mistakes as me or by empowering you to be proactive and make your life what YOU want: starting NOW.
         Because now, 25 years later, I am finally learning my lesson and applying what I learned. Writing this book is another step in that right direction- which I will elaborate on later.
         Michelle Obama and Cindy Gallop had it spot on, and I only wish I could have seen that sooner. But I’ll get there and so will you. It’s never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.
       “Always stay true to yourself and never let what anyone else says distract you from your goals.” And don’t forget: “The fear of what other people think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and life. You will never own the future if you care what other people think.”
         Don’t forget it!
        These inspiring quotes from Michelle and Cindy are great reminders to help you live your best life possible and get you one step closer to creating the life you want.
Stay tuned for more excerpts from the new book “Create the Life You Want” as it develops. 
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Movie Soundtracks & CBD OIL: A writer's Fight Against A.D.H.D & the battle to get SH*t done! (#youAreNotalone)

4/5/2019

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          Welp, another two days off from my day job…. wasted. Today, my ADHD was acting up so bad. I couldn’t think of anything to write, or concentrate on any older projects I could have been editing for publication. I did, however, manage to clean the house. Including vacuuming. And for a slobby girl like me, I will pat myself on the back. It won’t last long, I’m sure. But at least I did SOMETHING productive today.
           But not the things I wanted to get done.
           I have so many projects that I started working on, with self-imposed deadlines, but this week I can’t seem to get to them.
        From the new Femmespire Magazine I’m trying to publish in the next several months; to the books, music, & shirts with inspirational messages on them I want to sell on the web-store I still have to design. Not to forget the encouraging blog posts I like to write for my multiple websites, social media posts and content marketing.
           Building a brand and a product line is a lot of work.
       It’s frustrating. I’ll be so inspired and motivated all week long during times I CAN’T work on my creative and entrepreneurial pursuits, such as when I have to leave to go to work at my day job, when I’m eating dinner with the boyfriend, when I have to go to bed, or 3 o’clock in the morning when I SHOULD be sleeping but can’t because I can’t shut my damn brain off.
          But, yet, when I’m off from work, don’t have to go anywhere or even have to put on pants, and finally have the house all to myself- I can’t write. I can’t concentrate. Nothing stirs me up at all. Or everything distracts me.
         The ideas I wrote down in my phone before work so I wouldn’t forget them when I finally had time to sit down and write them- no longer inspire me. The songs for my book’s soundtrack album I was so excited to finish writing and record for the world to hear- no longer are fun to play around with. The three books I’m almost finished with and ready to officially publish and sell on Amazon- no longer speak to me.
          I’m stuck. In a mental rut. I can’t think of anything…or I think of EVERYTHING. All. At. Once.
           It sucks.
           Having ADHD sucks.
           It ruins my relationships, my job, my plans, my life.
         I’m never in the moment. I’m always a million places at once and nowhere at all. Half listening to everyone. Half caring about anything. Or hyper-focused on a project I desperately care about at the time and resentful of everyone and everything that gets in the way of it.
            I’m a real joy. Don’t you want to be my friend?
           By some miracle, I somehow shut my brain off long enough to focus and write this blog post. It was NOT by any means what I wanted to write about this week. But the ADHD is acting up so bad today, I didn’t know what else to do, and am secretly hoping I can get a least one good thing out of it or use it to stir me up again and kick me out of my massive brain fog.
           I’m wondering if I should set a timer on my phone? Then just pick a task on my list I made earlier in the week when I was inspired, and just force myself to work on it whether I feel like it or not. Like editing my books, or practicing Adobe Indesign to get the magazine setup? It worked for getting me to clean today. I put on some music (the soundtrack for the movie musical Anna and the Apocalypse is my new obsession) and set the timer on my phone, and told myself I could only clean dishes until the timer went off and then had to move onto something else. I ended up cleaning the entire place. Not spotless, but I did vacuum at least ;-)
          There’s a theory about that. I can’t remember what it’s called at the moment and Google isn’t being very helpful today, but it’s about being more productive through time management. Breaking tasks up into chunks, then taking small breaks in between. I’ve always been great at time management at my various jobs over the years, but at home, by myself- forget it.
           I’ve gotten into vaping CBD oil, which seems to help my ADHD issues (You can check out the blog post I wrote about it for Hempspired.net HERE). I ran out of the brand that helped me the best though and am kind of kicking myself for not ordering more now. But I don’t want to be dependent on that stuff either- it can be expensive! Although, I guess, if it really does help me focus and get the maximum work done then it’s worth the expense.
          But for now, I think I need to practice this whole time-management, setting a stop-watch for limited chunks of time thing. If it can help me focus long enough to clean the house and do the dishes (something I hate) then maybe it will actually work to help me focus on writing and finishing all the tasks I need to do to build my Femmespire Media business (the things I care about the most).
             And if not, there’s always CBD oil and listening to movie soundtracks. 

** P.S.** My mission in life is to #encourage people. And this post, no matter how gratuitous it may seem, is to do the same. If you struggle with ADHD, I want to encourage you that you are NOT alone. I am always amazed by how many posts show up when I search for hashtags on Instagram and Twitter that are related to ADHD, focus, and the related. It may suck, and steal some time away from your goals and productivity but I want to remind you that if you struggle as well, you are still FULLY capable of accomplishing your goals and dreams. It might take some extra energy, planning and determination than of those who don't struggle with the same issues, but you can get there. You are not alone. You are NOT doomed for a second rate life of mediocrity. You got this. I believe in you! I hope you will support me on my journey as well. Thank you. Happy reading!
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It's never too late to begin again or Learning to Let go of regret: An Encouraging Reminder

3/8/2019

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Sometimes the very things that look like the biggest mistakes and disappointments can be the exact things that will reposition you for the life you've always been destined to have.
          In the summer of 2017 I started working at a printing company for $11 an hour. I had just turned 33 and had a bachelors degree. Needless to say I felt like a complete failure at life filled with regret and anger at my poor life choices. I was constantly obsessing about the past and what I should have done differently, or worrying about the future and trying to plan how to turn my life around and get myself where I felt I was “supposed” to be at this time in my life.
          I’d wake up with panic attacks- literal chest pains and shortness of breath- that is if the stress and obsessive thoughts didn’t keep me up all night instead. I’d go on my break at work and cry silently to myself in the corner or in my bed when I went home. Being lost, discouraged, and uncontrollably angry and frustrated at myself for my current situation. I felt trapped. I barely made enough money to cover my living expenses, let alone enough to allow me to move forward with my business or move closer to the city where I thought my dreams as a writer could be solidified.
        I was trapped, and every day was more stress and headaches than it was worth. I had only been working at this job for a couple weeks before I was already on a regular daily search for a new one online. Something in marketing or multimedia to help me with my own aspiring business idea.
       Then one day while I was helping to print pages for a college professors text book and watching my coworkers frantically try to bind them all in time for the end of day pickup- I had an epiphany.
          I wanted to work in publishing.
        I’ve always wanted to work in publishing. Music publishing, book publishing, and before it went the way of the dinosaur, even magazine publishing.
          All the feelings came flooding back.
         I remembered how when I was in 8th grade and had a project in English class to design a magazine- was one of my favorite school assignments ever. I experienced the most pride I’ve ever had in school.
     Or how I desperately wanted to transfer to Emerson College in Boston to study Writing and Publishing and then chickened out. Only to end up nearly 15 years later torturing myself with the fear I made the wrong choice and missed my chance forever.
       And then another revelation came upon me:
     This job that looked like a mistake, a settle, a plan B of mediocrity, was really transitioning me back into the person I was always meant to be.
     I no longer had to wish I could be working in publishing or beat myself up for missing my opportunity. I WAS working in a side of publishing already. Granted it was the production and design side, and the books and publications we did were not quite what I was going for. But it was still a related field none the less. A lot of the publishing industry jobs I found based in New York City preferred applicants with print and or design experience. I was already gaining a bit of both. I was by no means a pro yet, but I finally could see how the skills I was gaining at this little company that paid me $11 an hour could be positioned on my resume for a future career in marketing and publishing that I was interested in.
        I also was seeing how I could use it to help me revamp my own business model. Femmespire Media would no long be positioned as a multimedia production and promotions company, but as a multimedia publishing company. Something I was aspiring to already I just hadn’t made the connection to the work yet.
          With a new perspective, vision, and passion, Femmespire Media was evolving. And I realized I didn’t have to regret anymore.
     The very thing that felt like a consolation prize, a plan D, a frustrating disappointment, was one of the very things that was preparing and pushing me toward my destiny all along. Within a few months of that epiphany I would have begun writing my book "Create the Life You Want" and completed drafts to a couple more.
         My perceived mistakes brought me back full circle to the person I always wanted to be, making it easier to pursue the dreams I had in my heart all along.
          And Joyce Meyer’s words echoed through me. They echo through me right now, like a comforting reminder from God “It’s never too late to begin again.” And begin again I shall.
         Now, it's nearly two years later. I'm still working on the book "Create the Life You Want" and about to publish another ("Better Late Than Never") but this week I'm back to obsessing and struggling with my regrets of the past again. I can't shake the feelings of how I wish I could do my entire life over. How I wish I took French in High School or went to college for Publishing, and any number of other regrets I battle with on a daily basis. But it's all just wasted negative energy. Stealing the time I could be spending writing these very books and scripts I have in my heart to share. 
          I hadn't read this essay since I first wrote it all that time ago, but rediscovering it has encouraged me. And I hope the lessons I'm learning will encourage you too. 
     Sometimes the very things that look like the biggest mistakes and disappointments can be the exact things that will reposition you for the life you've always been destined to have. You don't have to regret every past perceived "poor" decision as a failure. If you're created to do something then God and the universe will bring you back full circle again until you finally do it. You just have to have faith. 
           But if some inspirational books from authors like Joyce Meyer (and hopefully me someday) encourage you to get back at it sooner, then that's cool too. Create the life you want. And don't forget: It's never too late to #BeginAgain. It's #BetterLateThanNever. 
       
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A lesson in Being Still

2/23/2019

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       #SickDay or more like #SickWeek for me. This week I’ve been suffering from a sinus infection which culminated in me losing my voice completely on Thursday. I wanted to write this post a couple of days ago, but I was so weak and barely functioning, I had to put it off until now.
       Thank God, I have a great boyfriend who helped take care of me.
      But while I was lying in bed all that time, struggling to breath out of my nose, not hearing out of my clogged ears, unable to speak to anyone, and moaning to myself because I couldn’t get any work done on my days off – I had a thought come to me.  
       “Just be.”
       Be still. Be in the moment. Just be…here.
      Every other day of the week my mind is constantly racing with a bazillion thoughts and ideas. At my day job, I’m always making lists of the things I want to work on when I get home. At home, I’m constantly Googling things on my phone, scrolling through social media posts of adorable animal videos, or trying to work on more productive things related to my writing or building my business @FemmespireMedia. I’m always obsessing about what I want or fear in the future, or beating myself up for regrets from the past. I’m always thinking ahead but running behind.
       In other words:
       I am NEVER living in the moment.
    But this week while I’ve been sick I’ve HAD TO be still and in the moment. Because I couldn’t do or think about anything else.
      The one perk of this sickness, is I got to have some time to enjoy just snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch without me obsessing about what I needed to work on, and play with my beautiful kitty, Kahlo, who seemed to follow me around and lay next to me on the bed more than usual.
       And I loved it.
      So, although being sick for a week sucks, there was a benefit. Learning to live in the moment; not worrying, regretting, or obsessing about anything, and just being still. Something I have never as an adult been able to do. And something I hope to be able to continue experiencing long after I recover from this sinus infection.
       But I won't lie, I look forward to getting back to working on my book and musical and all the other little projects and ideas I have. So, I guess I'm a work in progress. But that's OK too. 
       As soon as I upload this post, I'll be closing my computer so I can play with my cat (let her chase the laser pointer for a while) and then take a little nap and finish recuperating. It's not an exciting week to say the least, but at least I get the chance to be still inside a little while and "Just be". I hope you will too. 
 
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The Other Me: a new Sci-Fi/Fantasy Novel That reminds you to live Authentically

2/8/2019

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      “Do you ever feel like you’re living someone else’s life? Like, you look in the mirror and see your face- but something feels just a little bit off. You look around and see your family, your friends, your job, maybe even the person sleeping in the bed next to you...and think to yourself… How did I end up here?”
     This is the first couple of lines from my developing Sci-Fi/Fantasy Novel and Musical Play called “The Other Me”. A story that contemplates the existence of parallel universes and alternate realities. The concept that there is another version of you living out there, that is experiencing and doing all the decisions you could have, but didn’t make.
       I am completely fascinated by this idea. Which is where the book comes from. It’s admittedly, my attempt at trying to work through some unresolved issues and live through the “other me”. But hey- that’s the creative life for you.
        I’ve struggled with this for a long time now. But lucky for me, I’ve been inspired to write a LOT of different media about it that will hopefully encourage other people someday. But when I’m at that low point; I fight with intense depression, anxiety, frustration, and anger at myself and my perceived “poor life” choices. Like not studying French in High School, living in Paris for a year, making that film who’s script I spent literally YEARS writing, releasing that EP, or wasting so many years in dead end jobs.
        Hopefully you followed your heart in life better than I did.
       But I know I’m not the only one who struggles with regrets, disappointments, and curiosities of the “What If’s?”
     If you often feel like you’re living someone else’s life or no longer recognize yourself, you are definitely going through what I’ve been struggling with. You’re not crazy (even though you probably feel crazy many days) and you are most likely NOT trapped in some parallel reality.
       But I will guess that you compromised yourself and what you really want in life somewhere down the line. You listened to other people and their opinions of your life. And although they were most likely well-meaning in their advice and perspectives, their views didn’t coincide with what YOU really wanted for yourself or with who you hoped to become.
        Now you’re 25, 30, 40, 50, 60 years old and you realize you’re living a life you don’t want. Maybe you never wanted. And that solemn reality is negatively affecting every area of your life.
        Why?
      Because it’s not the life you envisioned. It’s not the life you hoped for. Maybe something’s are good, maybe even great. But some thing’s still don’t feel right. This is because you’re not living to your fullest potential. You’re not being authentic. You’ve compromised on your true self, what you really want, and probably changed yourself along the journey to fit someone else’s vision for your life.
         Now nothing feels right.
      It’s like trying to stick a puzzle piece in the wrong hole. You might be able to “make it fit” but the edges will be all worn and frayed and the image on the other side will be all distorted. Leaving you with a dissatisfying and only partially finished puzzle.
         No Bueno.
       So, what can we do? Is it too late to turn things around and put the puzzle of your life back together?
         Absolutely not!
     You can’t go back in time to redo your life and make the other choices (or experience the alternate lives like the character in my book can) but you CAN make the decision starting TODAY to live authentically as possible, follow your heart, and finally live and create the life you want STARTING NOW.
        I’ll be covering these concepts more in depth in my other upcoming books titled “Better Late Than Never” and “Create the Life You Want.” So, I hope you will stay tuned for that.
       And if you are some of the rare souls out that that DON’T struggle with the issues of regret, disappointment, frustration, self-loathing, shame, loss of self, etc…. then great for you! Seriously. I mean it. Please write me and share your secrets. I bet your alternate stories and perspectives could empower other people. Myself included.
       But if you are someone who has had many days feeling like you're living someone else's life, spends way too many nights laying in bed wondering about your life, or asking how you even got where you are. Then I want to encourage you to start living an authentic life starting now. You might have gotten off track, changed yourself for other people, and spent your life building a puzzle with the wrong pieces. But it's never too late to change course, get back on the right path and start building a reality you don't need an escape from.
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"Girlie Girls": Helping to FIght Sex Trafficking One Book at a Time

1/19/2019

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         So apparently, January is Sex Trafficking Awareness Month. I had no idea until today (thank you Instagram!). This is an issue I care about as many women and teen girls who get sold into this horrible industry, experience extensive emotional, physical, and verbal abuse. Many of these women get lost in it because they already struggle with deep rooted feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness- and those are the voluntary ones! The most common seeming to be women looking for an escape (via the mail order bride industry) or to escape poverty and homelessness (via prostitution). But many are actually kidnapped and forcefully sold into slavery- sex slavery specifically. It’s a tragic reality. And one that needs to be stopped!
              I will be publishing a couple of books soon, one of which will be my comedy screenplay “Girlie Girls”. It’s a fun, empowering story about women who fight back. Through this book, I will be donating a portion of ALL sales to a non-profit organization that helps fight against sex-trafficking and the abuse of women.
              I'm passionate about encouraging, empowering and inspiring people through writing and the arts, and putting on or being a part of events that raise money and awareness of issues of relevance to women. I hope to put on fundraiser events (concerts, small theatre festivals, etc) in the future to help do these very things, but in the meantime publishing books with positive messages and donating a portion of the sales will be the first step. 
            If you would like more information and to find out how you can help fight against this terrible issue, follow me on my website www.TiffanyGrandMedia.com and on my social media pages @TIffanyGMedia. And if you or someone you know is involved in an organization or event of similar interest and you would like to collaborate- please don't hesitate to contact me or share my info. Thanks in advance. I hope you will join me. 
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New Books, New Year- 2019 Here I Come!

12/28/2018

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     So, with the advent of me finishing my new book "Better Late Than Never" and deciding to officially publish my comedy screenplay "Girlie Girls" as a book, I've decided it's time to rebrand myself a bit and update the website again. 
    I've wasted a lot of years listening to other people's opinions of how I should live my life, trying to be someone else because I fearfully believed I wasn't good enough, and stifling my spirit, passion, and dreams. But no more!
       2019 is MY YEAR. 
    My online stores will be up and running, I will be publishing two books and completing a third titled "Create the Life You Want", producing and selling some great music, and finally working on my full length musical play after years of only writing 10-15 minute ones. I also have a couple of side businesses I normally cross-promote on this website, but I think it's time to dive in and focus on what I'm truly passionate about- writing books, scripts for film and theatre, and the original music that goes with them. 
      Some people might think I'm crazy, that I'm too old, or wasting my time focusing on building artistic dreams- but life is short and I'm a huge preacher that it's never too late to pursue your dreams and become the person you always imagined. There are so many miserable people in the world, just going through the motions, living unfulfilled lives, and I'm not going to be one of them! 
        And you shouldn't either!
       That's kind of the theme of my books, music, and scripts for this season in my life. And i'm running with it. Follow me on this journey, on social media and on this website. I have so many great stories to share. 
      
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Women's Empowerment Music COllaborative

7/20/2018

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We women need to build each other up and continue creating positive and empowering music!
​In case you didn’t already know from all my shameless plugs throughout the site, I am a songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Music Business/Management and studied electric bass at Berklee College of Music in Boston. I have worked as a music journalist for Performer Magazine, and after moving to Nashville TN back in 2010 played bass as a hired gun for various indie artists. I've worked at a music publishing company, done PA work for music video shoots and commercials, and now I work in Marketing. 
 
Living in Nashville was great. I had a wonderful community of female musicians and creative types around me all the time. I lived with model beautiful singer/songwriters and beautiful hearted singer/actresses on the reg. That experience is the inspiration for the stage musical/book I’m working on called “Living With Models”. The time there wasn’t always roses, actually it was psychologically painful at times and opened up a lot of wounds for me that I had moved a thousand miles to get away from. But that is a story for another day.
 
But I miss the community I had when I was down there. Hell sometimes I even miss Berklee, with all of its crazy minded-pot loving musicians. It’s exhilarating being surrounded by other creative, passionate, driven people. I crave it. I need it.
 
So that’s where this post comes from.
 
Now back home in New York, I’m trying to build a community of female musicians. One where we can network, collaborate, and build each other up in this crazy world.
 
Do you need musicians for your band? A producer for you next EP? People to write songs with? Help promoting and marketing your music to build a larger following? Or just looking for some cool, like minded chicks to talk music with and empower you to keep pursuing your dreams?
 
Then follow me! Or rather follow The Women’s Empowerment Music Collaborative on Facebook @womensempowermentmusiccollaborative and our developing website at www.womensempowermentmusiccollaborative.com
 
And while you’re at it, you can also follow me Tiffany Grand on Twitter @TiffanyGMedia or email me personally at TiffanyGrandMedia@gmail.com.
 
We women need to build each other up and continue creating positive and empowering music!
 
I hope you will join me. 
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Getting Back In the Groove of Things (and time to let go of the baggage)

7/12/2018

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** This post was originally written one sleepless night about a month ago but I was too afraid to post it back then because I was afraid my boss would see it before I was ready. But I have since left this job I mention below and feel this post still has a relevant message to share. I've always prided myself on being authentic and open but I've been so focused on trying to build my company Femmespire Media, I haven't really been if I'm honest with myself. I also haven't been keeping up on my personal website here and it's time to get back at it! So without further ado- 4 crazy weeks later- here it is.. ** 

June 16, 2018
 
          OK, so I have a confession to make. I…am a hypocrite. All this time I’ve been here working on this book about “Creating the life You Want” encouraging people to pursue their dreams, to not look back, to stop making excuses for why they don’t have what they want and just own up to their mistakes and go forward. And I haven’t even really been doing it myself.
          My boyfriend Adam called me out on it. I was pissed at the time, but he was right.
        Yes, I said it. I know the independent spirited, punk rock feminist bassist from high school inside of me just fainted thinking about it. But he was right.
This entire time I’ve been trying to encourage and empower other people to live their best life possible and stop settling, and I haven’t been doing it myself. Not wholeheartedly anyway.
         I might be actively working on my business Femmespire Media and building a marketing career, but I’m still compromising.
        See, at the time of this writing, nearly a year after having come up with the idea for this book, I am STILL working at this tiny printing company that only pays me $11 an hour and expects the work of someone paid twice as much. I’m stressed out every day, taking supplements and medication to help manage the stress and anxiety that the job induces, ruining my liver from the copious amounts of alcohol I’ve gotten into the habit of consuming after work to unwind from the stress of the day, and undoubtedly destroying the lining of my stomach from all the OTC pain relievers I take nearly daily from the physical pains of the job. All the while barely making enough to pay my living expenses, and that’s without even currently owning a vehicle or having health insurance.
          That is crazy!
         This should not be the accepted lifestyle of a hard working 34 year old with a college degree. Maybe it has a little to do with my Millennial status? But that’s a topic for another day.
         Anyway, today I begin my first day working for a new company. A not for profit, where I will get paid to manage their social media marketing and researching and writing for their newsletters. All within the comforts of a cozy home office and minimal customer interactions. Plus, I will be making a significant amount of money more an hour.
          I took the plunge and applied and got hired on the spot. I felt so empowered.
        The problem is, though, I feel guilty leaving my current employer. They’re great people, a married couple, and the wife I absolutely adore. To the point, I will admit, I might refer to as a straight girl crush. She’s strong and confident, holds down the fort like a boss (no pun intended), and knows her shit. That place would be lost without her.
      But I know I desire more than a job that pays me barely over minimum wage and wears me out emotionally and physically on a daily basis.
          So, that’s why I have to leave.
        I originally gave them a whole two-month notice. I regret the way I went about it now. Which is also a story for another day. But now it’s time to own up to my mistakes and practice what I preach.
         So, I am finally giving them my two-week notice.
         And I’m terrified.
      It’s currently 4:26am on the first morning of my new job, and I can’t sleep because of the anxiety of speaking to my current bosses and disappointing them.
       It’s Saturday. Should I call them with my decision? Can I text them? Or do I have to wait until Monday morning when I go back to my job there and hope they don’t chastise me for changing my plans?
        I had just told them this week I would stay on part-time to help them because I know how hard it is to find people and they are short staffed (and the not-for-profit job won’t have full time hours for me just yet). But deep down inside I know that is a bad idea. My gut, my instinct, says it will be more stress than it’s worth even at that level. I’d just be compromising on what I really want to do with my life. Short changing myself in the long run.
        I've always talked a big game about following your heart, not compromising on who you are and what you REALLY want, and basically just confidently being you. With determination and focus. But I have a hard time doing it myself because I hate to disappoint people. I have a people pleasing, approval addiction I guess. I have self-psychoanalyzed it stemming from never feeling like I could please my parents throughout my own life. Again, that’s a story for another day.
         But I know this is the time I have to finally start walking the walk and talking the talk, no matter how scary it is. I need to stop being a hypocrite. I might not have it all together just yet, and maybe I never completely will, but I know I’m on the right path to getting there.
         As author and preacher Joyce Meyer always says “I might not be where I ought to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m OK and I’m on my way.” And so are you. Thank you for following me on this journey. 
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    Author

    Tiffany Grand is an author, songwriter, playwright and multimedia producer. She's a graduate of Berklee College of Music in Boston MA and has a heart for helping people through the arts, media, and community service. Follow her on Twitter & Instagram @TiffanyGMedia

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