Woo! So, I’ve been working on a full length, Sci-Fi, pop/rock musical titled “The Other Me”. It isn’t done yet, but I’m eager to share some of my work in progress.
         So, I made a little video, an audio-play/lyric video of the opening musical scene. The entire thing is written, produced, and performed by me. Although, I admit, I am NOT a singer or an actress, nor do I have ANY aspirations to be one. I am 200% a writer: a scriptwriter, songwriter and author with maybe some director/producer fantasies.
        But I also think it’s important to put some work out into the world. I’m always putting off sharing things until it’s “perfect” or I feel “ready”. But let’s be real, things will never be perfect and I probably won’t EVER feel ready. So, time to stop procrastinating and let people in on the process.
          I think of this audioplay/lyric vid as a DEMO/SAMPLE of the musical in progress. Something to help keep me accountable and hopefully help garner some interest from other, much more talented singers/actresses/film crew.
        This particular sample is only 5 minutes long. I also have a 10 minute One-Woman Musical Play version that I would like to have performed live on stage. Ya know, kind of like an appetizer for the full-length version.
       If you are interested in getting involved in any capacity don’t hesitate to hit me up! Email me at [email protected]. But until everything is ready, enjoy this little 5 minute demo video.
           Arthur Ashe said it well: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” So that’s what I’m trying to do. That’s what I AM doing. This video is only the tip of the iceberg. There are still so many awesome projects I’m working on that are near completion. I can’t wait to share them with you in the future. Thanks for your support!

          ​So, I’ve been particularly down lately. This past week has been rough emotionally. Wounds from the pasts, childhood stuff that I thought I had moved on from have been creeping their ugly faces back up to the surface and knocking the wind out of me. I’ve had gut wrenching sob fests at least once a day, every day this week. And it has not been fun.
          I am broken. I suffer a lot of deep-rooted rejection issues from my family. Words and experiences that still haunt me to this day, that I don’t know how to break away from. I truly thought I was getting better but the door came flying open again. Although I suppose, if I’m honest with myself it was probably never really closed to begin with. I just stuck a metaphorical poster or book shelf in front of it for a while in my mind.
       Emotional healing is a process. A long process. And it hurts. A LOT.
          I, by no means, have it together and it sucks to admit it. But what I have gotten out of it is a deep, intense passion to encourage and share love with others. Whether that be through books, plays with positive message, the new empowering shirt designs I’ll be releasing shortly, or just through all the little inspirational quote images and posts I share on the Femmespire Media social media pages.
          I am DETERMINED to help people through my own pain. I am determined to be that encouraging, supportive, loving, empathetic voice I never really felt like I got. I’m determined to help other people who struggle with insecurity, depression, feelings of worthlessness and rejection, who feel invisible and looked over, and just plain need a reminder of their worth and value. I have struggled with all of that immensely over the years and I know I’m not alone. Some people are just more aware of it than others. But it’s OK.
         I want to remind you that if you struggle as well that you are no less lovable, valuable or worthy because of your wounds and occasional weakness. You are no less a survivor because you break down on occasion. Just don’t STAY DOWN. Don’t let your brokenness defeat you. CHOOSE to take the bad things in your life-whatever they are- and use them to help other people. Just like the above image quote says:
 
“If you feel discouraged..
Encourage others.
If you struggle with low self-esteem
and feelings of worthlessness..
​Compliment someone else.
If you feel unloved and invisible.. 
Give someone else who’s having a bad day
a hug or a needed listening ear.
Share and be the love
you feel you didn’t get
when you needed it the most.
It’s not selfish.
It’s called being determined
to help someone else through your own pain
and not letting the past win.
Break the cycle.”
 
          *I’ll be donating copies of the Femmespire Magazine and a portion of all sales of the upcoming merch to organizations that help hurting, broken people. Follow me on social media and my websites to stay up to date and to find out how you can help.

#sharethelove #helpthehurting #encourageothers #emotionalhealing #bethedifference. 

 
​      “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.” This quote came to me in a dream I had like 15 years ago. I didn’t really understand it back then and have made a lot of mistakes since. But it’s probably become more relevant to me now than ever.   ​
 
          So, I’m publishing a magazine for my multimedia company Femmespire Media (if you’re not already following us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram @FemmespireMedia you are missing out!). Anyway, this first issue will be discussing issues related to overcoming emotional/verbal/physical abuse, mental illness, homelessness, emotional healing, self-love, and becoming the best version of yourself. I’ll also be donating copies of issues to women’s shelters, drug rehab facilities, and possibly women’s prisons- all places where I believe women struggle with and need encouragement in these areas the most.
          Anyway, today I was home working on some songs that will be featured in the mag. Song lyrics with relevance to the themes of the upcoming issue. Tweaking the existing lyrics and trying to come up with appropriate backing music to accompany it. But after getting frustrated one too many times, I’ve had to admit a hard truth to myself.
​          I’m not much of an instrumentalist. I’m not a composer. I might have received a Bachelor’s degree in Music from the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston MA, studied music composition & arranging, and learned to play a half dozen instruments, but I am, alas, not as gifted and skilled at composing, playing or producing music as I would like (or I'm just super rusty!). I’ve had to admit to myself that I am most skilled and passionate about writing lyrics, melody and other literary prose. Which is a blow to my ego I will confess.
          But after what is now decades of feeling bad about myself, feeling that I am not good enough the way I am, and believing the lies that I must change myself to fit someone else’s image of what it means to be successful, talented, and beautiful- I call BULL SHIT!
​          If no one else has ever told you then I am telling you now: you do you! You are fine the way you are. You are talented, lovable, beautiful, and capable of greatness. If you have a dream inside your heart you need to just GO FOR IT! You might need to find other people with complementary skills to help you bring whatever your dreams are to fruition. But you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. You were made the way you are on PURPOSE. It just might, like me, take you 15 years to figure it out and finally do it. 
          But also like me, you might have to learn to lay your ego down to get anything worth while done in life.
          Like, I have to (sometimes begrudgingly) admit that I lack certain skills and strengths, like composing instrumental parts to songs. But I have other great and meaningful strengths. And I need to FOCUS on those strengths instead of wasting time trying to do the things other people were gifted to contribute. It takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders accepting that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING all the time.
          I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a control freak and WANT to do everything all the time, but I’m finally starting to learn that I don’t HAVE TO. There are so many other amazing, wonderful people in the world that are gifted in what I lack. And I am determined to find them.
          AD PLUG ALERT: if you are or know anyone who is into arranging/producing original music to songs or singing/acting/producing for film/theatre then send them my way! I have so many projects in the works right now. Some of which I will be stubbornly producing on my own. But let’s be real, they’ll all be much better with the help and support of other talented, passionate individuals. Message me at [email protected] for more info and to get involved!
          And to reiterate the subconscious wisdom of my younger self: “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.”
          Life's too short to waste it trying to be someone else. You do you. Find your tribe. You got this.