"It's time to tell the negative party in your
head to shut the f*** up..."
Children often believe what they are told, especially if it’s from a trusted adult like a parent or teacher. So, if you were told as a child that you were stupid, ugly, worthless, unlovable- or just made to feel that way by their unintended actions- it can have long lasting effects on us well into adulthood.
What negative words have you listened to and believed about yourself? What do you ruminate on and replay over and over in your head? Is it positive, life-affirming, and helping you live your best life possible? Or does it tear you down, hurt your heart, and make you increasingly insecure, fearful, or vulnerable? Have you ever even thought about the words you speak to and about yourself?
Well, I have been considering it a lot lately and I’ve realized how it has impacted nearly every day and every action of my life. I am nowhere near where I want to be in my life and I can see very clearly how my damaged thought life has been the culprit holding me back. But no more! Or at least it’s time to finally start taking my own advice. I don’t know about you, but I have too much I want to do with my life, so it’s time to tell the negative party in my head to shut the f*** up!
If you struggle with low self-esteem, shame, or feelings of worthlessness then it’s time to flip the script. Reprogram your mental computer. Speak positive, encouraging, life-affirming messages to yourself to counteract all the hurtful and discouraging words that have been spoken over you in your past. Make a list and tape it to your bathroom mirror, or keep it in your purse, and read it and re-read it over and over until you believe it. Declare love and acceptance over yourself. You are valuable and worthy the way you are right now, brokenness and all. But you don’t have to remain broken and haunted by deep rooted pain any longer.
Your healing won’t happen overnight. You had probably spent years, maybe even decades rehashing past hurts and opening old wounds, so it’s safe to accept that it will take some time to break the old habits and rewire your thought patterns. But you can do it.
Every moment that you feel tempted to beat yourself up or criticize yourself but speak positivity into yourself instead is a step closer to healing. Forgive yourself for believing lies. You are only human after all. But don’t let someone else’s words control you any longer.
The old adage “hurting people, hurt people” is true. Most likely, the people who hurt you in your life did it because they were struggling with their own pain and rejection issues. They’ve believed negative, discouraging things about themselves (probably told to them by someone else) and were just perpetuating the cycle. Intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn’t matter. The point is it happened and it’s time to change it.
The Bible refers to this as generational curses. Which I may elaborate on at a later date. Either way, it’s time to break the cycle. Confess to God of your deep rooted, secret wounds and allow him to heal you. To renew your mind and transform your life and finally live the life you were created for. But don’t be afraid to put in the work. Make those lists, speak those life-affirming words. Fight back the negative, critical voice in your head with love, forgiveness, self-acceptance, and encouragement. You are lovable, you are worthy, you are capable of great things and you WILL be healed.
I’ve written a poem and a song adapted from it titled “Affirmations Song (I Am Lovable)”. Please listen to them below. And share with your friends and loved ones who could use the reminders. Thank you for reading.