“Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.” This quote came to me in a dream I had like 15 years ago. I didn’t really understand it back then and have made a lot of mistakes since. But it’s probably become more relevant to me now than ever.
So, I’m publishing a magazine for my multimedia company Femmespire Media (if you’re not already following us on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram @FemmespireMedia you are missing out!). Anyway, this first issue will be discussing issues related to overcoming emotional/verbal/physical abuse, mental illness, homelessness, emotional healing, self-love, and becoming the best version of yourself. I’ll also be donating copies of issues to women’s shelters, drug rehab facilities, and possibly women’s prisons- all places where I believe women struggle with and need encouragement in these areas the most.
Anyway, today I was home working on some songs that will be featured in the mag. Song lyrics with relevance to the themes of the upcoming issue. Tweaking the existing lyrics and trying to come up with appropriate backing music to accompany it. But after getting frustrated one too many times, I’ve had to admit a hard truth to myself.
I’m not much of an instrumentalist. I’m not a composer. I might have received a Bachelor’s degree in Music from the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston MA, studied music composition & arranging, and learned to play a half dozen instruments, but I am, alas, not as gifted and skilled at composing, playing or producing music as I would like (or I'm just super rusty!). I’ve had to admit to myself that I am most skilled and passionate about writing lyrics, melody and other literary prose. Which is a blow to my ego I will confess.
But after what is now decades of feeling bad about myself, feeling that I am not good enough the way I am, and believing the lies that I must change myself to fit someone else’s image of what it means to be successful, talented, and beautiful- I call BULL SHIT!
If no one else has ever told you then I am telling you now: you do you! You are fine the way you are. You are talented, lovable, beautiful, and capable of greatness. If you have a dream inside your heart you need to just GO FOR IT! You might need to find other people with complementary skills to help you bring whatever your dreams are to fruition. But you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. You were made the way you are on PURPOSE. It just might, like me, take you 15 years to figure it out and finally do it.
But also like me, you might have to learn to lay your ego down to get anything worth while done in life.
Like, I have to (sometimes begrudgingly) admit that I lack certain skills and strengths, like composing instrumental parts to songs. But I have other great and meaningful strengths. And I need to FOCUS on those strengths instead of wasting time trying to do the things other people were gifted to contribute. It takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders accepting that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING all the time.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a control freak and WANT to do everything all the time, but I’m finally starting to learn that I don’t HAVE TO. There are so many other amazing, wonderful people in the world that are gifted in what I lack. And I am determined to find them.
AD PLUG ALERT: if you are or know anyone who is into arranging/producing original music to songs or singing/acting/producing for film/theatre then send them my way! I have so many projects in the works right now. Some of which I will be stubbornly producing on my own. But let’s be real, they’ll all be much better with the help and support of other talented, passionate individuals. Message me at TiffanyGrandMedia@gmail.com for more info and to get involved!
And to reiterate the subconscious wisdom of my younger self: “Just focus on your strengths, what comes naturally to you, and what you really love to do.”
Life's too short to waste it trying to be someone else. You do you. Find your tribe. You got this.